Husbands vs Wives

Who thinks the below image represents a clean garage? Haha I do! No seriously, I do. Now my wife on the other hand, well, she thinks it’s dirty. Which some of you may agree with her. 20170119_220904.jpgBasically this is a collection of boxes and leftovers from Christmas that I threw out into the garage and forgot to throw away. In the division of household labor in our house, the taking out of the trash (and the cleaning of dishes) falls upon me. And during Christmas, I would take out the boxes and piles of wrapping paper to the garage since our trashcan was full, with complete intention to put them in the trash the following week. Which didn’t happen, obviously. So last night, my beautiful wife reminded me that I said I would clean out the garage before we went on vacation this weekend.Β Ouch. So guess what I did last night (and am finishing tonight)?

I cleaned the garage.

So I’m kinda teasing my wife. Of course it was a dirty garage. But I just had to leave my job of cleaning it to the couple days right before I had to do it.

I know there’s a lesson God was trying to teach me here.

I was exhausted when I got started last night, it was like 10:30pm and I was done with the day. I wanted to just go to bed. And I just felt God say in that moment, Ok, let’s get to work. Somehow, I felt this drive in me to do it and I just got started.

Colossians 3:23,

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.

I think it’s kinda funny writing that verse with human masters’ in a marriage context lol πŸ˜‰ (I’m really kidding here!) So a disclaimer before a quick anecdote on this verse…my wife and I have aΒ fabulousΒ marriage. We are wonderfully and joyfully in love together and with Christ. She is my woman that I am crazy about.Β But my son the other day was reading a book with mommy.Β The picture on the page they were reading had a daddyΒ just by himself. And my son asks my wife, “Where is hims owner?” He was asking where the mommy was. haha!

Joking aside, the point that I’m trying to get back to is that we all have a lot of tasks that aren’t glorious. TheyΒ aren’t deeply mentally or spiritually satisfying. They are routine, boring, and frankly, we just have to roll up our sleeves and get to bidness. Cleaning the garage was totally one of those tasks.

And so when we do have to “do the work” our best guidance from God’s Word is to do it, passionately, put our full selves into it, just as if we were working directly for the Lord, and not for anyone else. God wants a people whose hearts are fully alive, even when the environmental conditions and the tasks at hand might be less than thrilling. Jesus gives us living water, water to make us come alive. He wants you fully alive because he is the Vine who feeds you. Even if our surroundings and tasks might be boring, we can still have great joy from being in God’s presence inside of us. Β This is part of living life fully this side of heaven.

So, I’m curious…I’ve shared my story of boring & silly work…any funny stories of things you’ve had to clean up? Maybe youΒ saw it as clean and your spouse saw it as dirty?

Hope you have a WONDERFUL night! Remember you are treasured by our God!

Blessings,

Joel

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43 thoughts on “Husbands vs Wives

    1. And props to WP’s algorithm for putting my Attic post in the “More from…” section! I just saw that…must have some logic built in that says ‘if title or post contains X keyword similar to keyword Y contained in old post, the. link old post to From section.” Or maybe it just got lucky πŸ˜‰

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  1. Funny… I have a wonderful marriage too… but he IS the biggest messy head I have ever encountered in my life! He literally never puts anything back and I’m not actually joking here. It can drive me totally and completely nuts. If I asked him to clean something, he would say sure – and wait until I asked again, and again and again… eventually, I clean it up myself, or fix that screw, or oil the bikes or, or, or… Granted, here in Japan the balance of who does the housework is rather one-sided: I’m a housewife so I don’t work (seriously?!???) and he goes to work 5 days a week 60-70 hours… So, yes, I can see why I am the one left to do by far the most work so I’m not complaining πŸ˜‰ (though perhaps venting once in a while – ha ha ha). In a sense it’s funny, because the Lord somehow got us together and it works out just great. Praise Him!

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    1. Haha! That sounds familiar! I’m the same way. My wife has to ask me a thousand times to clean up one thing. She really believes I have selective hearing! What’s funny is this started not too long after we got married. I think it’s just a guy thing, it’s gotta be, I’ve talked to several husbands who do the exact same thing, and they don’t mean to, it’s just something we do. Haha! Which typically means I’m always running late on my household chores!!

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      1. Oh – I fully believe my husband has selective hearing!! ha ha, but I do agree; It’s a guy thing, perhaps a multitasking thing. For the same reason, my husband simply has no household chores as per see. He takes care of paperwork because it’s all Japanese and that would be too much for me. But that’s more a responsibility than a chore.

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      1. Love Disney! And you got to do something really cool πŸ˜‰ So happy for all of you!
        I have to make a decision this week which ought to be pretty simple, but has turned out not to be quite so simple. Where people are involved, things tends to get messy. Did you get my mail, BTW?

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      2. Well I’ll keep you in my prayers that it will go according to His will. I did, I think I responded a week and a half ago.

        How’s Tokyo Disneyland? Is it a lot of fun?

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      3. Thanks!
        You did?… hmm… maybe it ended up in the wrong “basket”. I’ll check.
        Tokyo Disneyland is great but I actually prefer Disneysea πŸ˜‰ I think the area is smaller though, but great rides, horrid fast-food and enchanting shops – ha ha ha.

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      4. Ah – Disneysea is the residence of Duffy and Gelatoni, Ariel, Jasmin and Toy story… Indiana Jones, Captain Nemo etc… here in Tokyo. More rustic than the polished magic kingdom, which is also amazing. I just love toontown πŸ˜‰ always had a thing for Roger Rabbit *Ha ha ha

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      5. Indiana Jones is my favorite. I got to go up on stage for the Indiana Jones show at Hollywood Studios during our trip and play one of the onlookers in the Cairo marketplace. It was crazy fun!! I love Indiana Jones, it’s pretty much my favorite movie πŸ™‚

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  2. Hahaha! Awesome post, with great reminders. It is easy for me, as the stay-at-home, homeschooling mom to 7 children, to feel as though all I am doing is cleaning, cooking, schooling, discipline, repeat. But this year I actually suck this verse on the top of our whiteboard in the school room. I told the kids it was their first verse of the year and reminded them how they need to be doing their best for God, even if it is their school work or chores. But the truth? It was for ME and MY HEARY to be reminded that even in the small things, we are to glorify God! Thanks for sharing!!!

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    1. Oh my gosh, 7 kiddos! That’s like our dream!! Haha, seriously! Like we’re at 3 kids and my wife and I are texting right now about the DHS list in our state about some of the kiddos waiting for homes and asking our adoption worker about them. That is SO awesome!! What ages are your kiddos? How is homeschooling going for that many? We have a 7 yo, 4 yo and a 6 month old. It’s going well for us so far! We love homeschooling πŸ™‚

      I hear you on just reminding myself about even in the small things, it’s really about Jesus! I have to do that frequently it seems! My flesh can be quite forgetful. Thank you so much for your comment! And hey, if there’s anything good in my stuff, it’s all Jesus, it’s not me haha! I’m a big work in progress haha!!

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      1. That’s awesome, Joel! Go for it- all children are a blessing!!! There’s usually lots of children-in-waiting in each state, especially sibling groups and older children! I grew four babies in my heart and four in my belly, so truly I have 8, but my oldest is 21 and out of the home (but continues as my nanny!) My age grouping is 21g, 11b, 10b, 10b, 8g, 6b, 5g, 4b. And a couple other children who are still in my heart and I “parent” from a distance! πŸ˜‰ After a 2.5 year journey we just completed the final in-country adoption requirements for immigration of my four kiddos! πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰ We also love homeschooling and it has been a true blessing for the flexibility and tailoring to the child it has afforded us through our adoption process and now since having our Lovies home! All the glory to God!! 😍

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      2. Yes!! All children are such a blessing!! Psalm 127:3! Oh that is such a cool story that you all have! This is where we want to be at one day. What country did you adopt from? 2.5 years, was that from like the very beginning until they were officially yours? We’re starting short term fostering, mostly respite. We’ve been on our state’s adoption list for a year and a half now but nothing. We’re seriously looking at out of country adoptions starting later this year. Do you have any advice or any organizations you like better for out of country?

        Homeschool is wonderful! We love having our kids at home with us as well, especially given the spiritual environment of the world these days. You have a great blog too btw, just discovered it after you commented on mine, but good stuff. Sounds like you all are in a similar walk of life to us but a little further on down the road!

        And yes amend, all the glory to Jesus! πŸ™‚

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      3. We adopted from Latvia. They were a sibling group of five. We hosted the three brothers through P143 orphan hosting program, and started the adoption process after they left back from their first hosting visit. It was 2.5 years from then until now- officially ours! We hosted them a total of 4 times throughout and were able to host their two sisters for the last hosting. The oldest, almost 15, declined adoption and only wants to continue to visit us. We just spent a week with him in Latvia and he will come for the summer here. Adoption is. It for the faint of heart! 🀣 there have been many mountains and valleys, but absolutely worth every second! 😍 we used CCAI- they started as Chinese adoption, but now handle many other countries and they have been fabulous! Is your family waiting specifically for an infant? Is that why you have been waiting so long? Many blessings on your adventure!!!!😍

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      4. Latvia?! You’re the first person I have met who has adopted from there. Was it difficult to adopt from there? Are they a Hague convention country? I haven’t heard of P143 before…I’ll need to look into that one. What is thay? I hadnt heard of CCAI either…I’ll have to look them up too. Did you have to do a long in country stay for Latvia? I don’t know too much about Latvia…the closest I know about is Moldova, but adoption is very difficult from there.

        i have no idea why its taking so long. I suspect both God’s timing and spiritual warfare. We were infant for about 6 months, then went 0-8 years with sibling group and still nothing. It’s weird. We’re a pretty stable middle class family so I’m not sure why, but we are ready to adopt.

        If you dont mind me asking, how expensive was adopting from Latvia?

        Such a cool story your family has with adopting!! What was your name again? I didn’t see it on your blog. God bless!!

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      5. Here’s a great link for many waiting children in the US, if you are open to older and sibs! http://www.adoptuskids.org/meet-the-children/children-in-foster-care/children-on-adoptuskids

        P143 is an orphan hosting program. There are several. Another popular one is New Horizons. They bring children from different countries to “visit” families in the US. They are not related to adoption agencies, but everyone understands that truly the goal is to find these children homes, either with families they host with or their hosted families advocate and try to find a family for them. We fell in love with our kiddos and pursued adoption after our first trip. The children that are hosted are typically older children, sibling groups and/or special needs— the “unwanted” that are otherwise hard to place… they have found MANY, MANY homes for children through these programs.

        It was not “difficult” to adopt from Latvia, but of course international adoption included a lot of paperwork and there is a significant cost if compared to adopting from foster care in the US, which is virtually free. I’ve written a post called Questions – https://crazyloveparents.com/2015/01/22/questions/. That talks about why we would pursue this over foster care adoption (biggest for me is the strong belief children should NEVER be raised in institutions and our desire to take a child out of an orphanage setting) a post about our hosting experiences: https://crazyloveparents.com/2017/01/20/interview-questions-with-tiny-green-elephants-from-our-first-two-hostings/
        And one about the paper chase in international adoption: https://crazyloveparents.com/2015/01/22/227/

        I hope those could help! Our costa for CCAI alone were just under $13,000. Our coat for home study agency was probably about another $6000, and with Latvia, there are three trips total. The first trip BOTH parents absolutely must remain in-country for 3-4 weeks for “care and supervision” period. Then a second trip only 3 days, only one parent and any child over 13, then final trip, only one parent and ALL children must return to finish immigration stuff and stay for about one week. So depending on how many kids will be traveling and staying that first trip, etc. you can see how the cost increases significantly when you factor airfare, apartment rental, food, etc. it’s not cheap. But I have honestly never looked at our sum total and thought of any better way I could have spent that money! Truly! It’s all God’s money anyhow and hearing those words “thanks mom, I feel safe now” from my kiddo who was being abused in the orphanage is something I could never put a price tag on!!!! 😍😍😍😍 —Christina

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      6. I loved that last sentence “”thanks mom, I feel safe now” from my kiddo who was being abused in the orphanage is something I could never out a price tag on.” This is some fantastic info Christina. Thank you! We feel the same way too about costs, but it has been in our minds about deciding which country to pursue. 19k plus the trips is better than some other countries (I think if memory serves me). I need to read your posts here!! I’m busy today at the office, but will get some time later this afternoon and I’ll read through them throughly.

        So orphan hosting programs?! That is cool. I’ve never heard of that before. We will take the “unwanted!” I completely agree that children should never be raised in institutions but in families!

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      7. 3-4 weeks, I could probably swing that. What do you do during the 3-4 week time period? Like if your American employer required you to work remotely would you be able to do that with whatever else is being required during the in-country stay?

        Amen, it is all God’s money anyway. And you can’t put a price on those words of a kiddos saying I feel safe now and you being their parent. That’s priceless, it’s a calling to do something very close to God’s heart. His heart is for the orphans and widows! Ok, I think I actually have a few extra minutes so I’m going to head over to your blog posts and read through them!!

        Hope you’re having an awesome day!!

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      8. During your stay you rent an apartment and do “family life” stuff. Of course you may want to do some cool stuff that you can only do in Latvia (visit some castles, the Laima chocolate museum and make candies) etc. We also went to a waterpark there! Wow! But mostly we just hung out as a family, walking around old town together, going to parks, getting ice cream, etc. It’s their “bonding” time, and you have a visit or two to check on the kids and see how things are progressing. πŸ™‚ Take care, Joel!

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      9. That sounds fun! It sounds like its a great first start to the new journey as a family. Thank you for taking the time to answer some of my questions! Definitely have to process some of these things and see how they integrate with God’s plan for us. Thanks Christina!! πŸ™‚

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      1. Sorry, another question here! What was it about Latvia that drew your hearts there? What are some of the struggles that the kids and people there deal with? Or was it just God said Latvia and that’s where you went?

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      2. Honestly, I stumbled across the P143 hosting site and started looking at the children’s photos and was extremely drawn to the photo of the large sibling group. (We also knew a family that had hosted and was adopting using the New Horizons hosting program) Their bio stated how the oldest had refused hosting in the past two years, but had agreed this time around, and I just keep feeling this tug that these children were the ones! I kept thinking about the oldest being brave enough to finally step out and agree to host, yet would likely remain unchosen because in a group of five. I talked and prayed with my husband about it. I thought he would NEVER agree to five, and after he prayed and agreed, I felt sure we were on the right path! πŸ™‚ Latvia just recently was classified from being Eastern Europe to Northern Europe, I think they are trying to separate themselves from the communist bloc countries. They were occupied for quite a long time and only gained their independence 1991. They are a relatively small and poor country…

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      3. CCAI handles all the paperwork for P143 hostings (as you can imagine it’s children we are dealing with, there is some paperwork involved, background checks, home safety visits, etc ) many have chosen different agencies, you are free to chose whomever you wish and I would encourage you to compare costs because they can differ widely. CCAI was not the cheapest. However, I LOVED the prompt response of the Latvia worker at CCAI. Out of all the agencies I called, she was the only one that didn’t go straight to VM. And she remained that way throughout. She was amazingly responsive to all my calls and emails, and it was very reassuring to me. She was the same with hosting, so I figured we would stick with them. 😁

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      4. Sounds good, so they do the paperwork, but you can work with whoever you choose. Ok great! Definitely will have to check them out down the road. Thank you so much Christina for the info!!

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